This is a work in progress, as is all of Life. As I continue on my journey in the world of blogging and writing, I also continue to learn about myself and how I feel about things, in more ways than I ever imagined. This is a judge free zone. I analyze and "think" and process things as they come to me. I just want to share what has helped me along this journey of my life, and hope that there is something that I have endured that may spark a revelation in you, too. I'm honored that you are here.
Personal Note
My most valued possession is my family. Even if you are living in a box somewhere, and you have the love and support of your family, you will always be wealthy. Love really is all you need. From love, great things will emerge. From your thoughts, you can create greatness.
This is what I need to remind myself of everyday to be the best person that I can be. Live your life with gratitude. Be thankful for all that you have everyday, even if it is your eyes to see or your ears to hear or your feet to walk or your hands to create. Understand your place in this Universe; how infinitesimally small you are, but how huge a contribution your Spirit is. Don't wear blinders to the world around you, you're not the only one here. Be kind, considerate, don't be judgemental, love others, and yourself. Know that you are perfect inside; that you are love.
This is what I need to remind myself of everyday to be the best person that I can be. Live your life with gratitude. Be thankful for all that you have everyday, even if it is your eyes to see or your ears to hear or your feet to walk or your hands to create. Understand your place in this Universe; how infinitesimally small you are, but how huge a contribution your Spirit is. Don't wear blinders to the world around you, you're not the only one here. Be kind, considerate, don't be judgemental, love others, and yourself. Know that you are perfect inside; that you are love.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
Knowing that the other person is angry, one who remains mindful and calm acts for his own best interest and for the other's interest, too.
--Buddha
Week 36
The holidays are officially over, save the New Year's Celebration, and while I love this time of year and what it represents, the sights, sounds and smells of the Yuletide, I am a bit relieved that it is all but over.
It seems this year (as is oftentimes the case during this time of year) that there were a lot of disgruntled folks trudging their way through the holidays. I have had more than my share of "run-in's" with people these last couple of weeks while out and about. I am so grateful that I have learned the lessons that I have, so far, that have helped me practice the lesson in this quote while dealing with these "difficult people".
Common sense can tell you that becoming irate and matching the other person's level of anger can only intensify the situation. If we can keep mindful of the fact that they may be experiencing some difficulty in their lives much like we may be or have in the past in our own, we are better able to relate to their pain and stay calm and understanding, instead of reacting angrily because our own ego has been challenged.
Wouldn't it be nice if someone were to care enough about our feelings to have done that for us in the past? By acting in this way, you are not just giving to them, but to yourself, as well. This type of generosity spreads much like a shared smile. It will, hopefully, at least plant a seed of thought in them that someone cared enough about them to set aside their own ego and being 'right' to stay calm and let them have the floor in the situation, giving them room to vent their frustrations, right or wrong.
Believe me, they will eventually realize on their own that they were "wrong" without you matching their ire and pointing it out to them. Even if you don't seem to have 'come out on top', you really did because you kept calm and understanding, gifting them the space they needed to figure it out. They will realize the gift you gave them.
It may take them receiving that gift a thousand times before they 'get it', but your job was done. You never know what the other person is going through when they act out angrily, so don't react. Diffuse the situation with calm.
This time may be the one-thousandth time they needed.
Thank you so much for reading and following me along my journey. Many blessings to you on yours.
Namaste
Nanette
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
Look within. Be still.
--Buddha
Week 35
I am possibly having one of the worst feeling holidays I have ever had. Worse even than last year, being my first year without my mom. It could be that more has happened since then, therefore compounding a sadness that continues to grow in me. There are overwhelming things that just continue to arise in my life that I sometimes feel that I just can't win. Situations that occur that make me lose faith in my fellow man, this world, even my own family. It fills me with a sadness, if not a bitterness, that causes me to lose faith in myself. What a terrible way to feel, especially at "the most wonderful time of the year."
I try to remind myself that no matter what is going on in my life, someone else probably has it much, much worse. But, I don't have their life or their experiences. I only have my own, and everything that has rained down on me thus far is getting pretty unbearable; things I have not disclosed to my closest friends.
I know that I am not alone. I know that many of you have struggled with things that make you question your faith. I'm talking about earth shattering things that make you question your desire to even share in this world any longer. But, no matter what your faith may be, if you are struggling at any moment with things that affect you this strongly, it doesn't really matter what faith you have, if you can't believe in yourself to be strong enough to reach in and find it.
After reflecting upon the things that are troubling me and allowing myself to feel the feelings that were grieving me so, I made the choice to not fold under my perceived dire circumstances. That my faith in mankind, higher spirituality, myself, is all my own and I get to choose how I react to all that comes my way and how I process all that 'happens' to me. I get to decide to dig deep and find what I need to get through whatever is handed to me. Whatever you find when you dig deep is all yours. It belongs to you, it comes from you and whatever you believe put it there for you to find. When it feels like all else is failing you, know that you have that; a place within you to retreat to, so that you may find the answers you are looking for.
Know that, no matter how bad things seem to be getting, you have that inner space to retreat to. A serene space you can create that is all your own to pray, meditate, be with God, whatever you need in that moment of your dark hour to help you find your way. This quote reminds me of Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God..." Everyone is entitled to their interpretation of this verse, and everyone is entitled to the peace it brings to them whether they are followers of any certain faith, or not. And for me it brings peace to my heart the same as the Buddha's words "Look within. Be still."
Look within. Find your meaning. Be still, and hear it speak.
Many peaceful blessings to you during your journey of this life.
Namaste
Nanette
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
Week 34
May all beings be happy at heart.
--Buddha
Today I messed up, a little. I've been on "vacation" all week, something I do every year to prepare for the holidays. I make a lot of my gifts for family and always have shopping to do with and for family members. It's always so busy, I feel I need a vacation to recover from vacation. Add in some totally unexpected personal strife that I've been helping my sister through, and before you know it, a week is gone, and Sunday was here before I knew it...AND, I go back to work tomorrow.
This is not, however, an excuse as to why I seemed to have completely 'flaked' on my weekly writing responsibility. But I had a long day ahead of me today and didn't even realize it was Sunday; easy to do with my routine being off all week.
Anyhow, I sit here, now, to do what should have been done earlier this week, but literally could not find the time to get done, and I realize that maybe this is exactly as it should be. I believe we constantly need lessons in our lives to help remind us of what is important and, though it is true that everything I did this week was for my loved ones, I need to be reminded not to spread myself too thin. I love giving and doing for others but I really need to practice better time-management. My writing is important to me, and I hope it is to some of you, too, and I truly appreciate all of you who read and support my blog, so I humbly apologize for being late this week.
All of this brings me to this weeks quote.
May all beings be happy at heart.
Most everyone in this world wants the same thing: to be happy. This weeks quote is the wish from the Buddha for all beings to be blessed with what they long for--a happy heart. We all get there in different ways, as different things make each of us happy in different ways. This is how I need to use this quote as a reminder in my life especially at this very busy time of year.
Doing all the things for my family and making all the special gifts, shopping for that special and meaningful gift that I know my father-in-law will love, does make me happy, but all of that also caused me to overlook my Sunday post, and that doesn't make me happy. I know there are some things that I let take my time up that I could have, and should have, avoided so as to not burden myself with trying to get everything done. So my solution is to remember this short quote to keep me focused while I am making these decisions so that I may stay focused and keep my own heart happy and light.
That's a gift I don't feel guilty for giving myself.
Thanks for reading,
Namaste
Nanette
Sunday, December 8, 2013
Sundays with Buddha
With gentleness overcome anger. With generosity overcome meanness. With truth overcome deceit.
--Buddha
Week 33
What more can be said about this straightforward quote? Just as in the quote from week 11, to what exactly is the Buddha referring? Is it our own anger, meanness, and deceit, or that of another? Either way, this practice can only help to guide us to understanding each other and ourselves.
With gentleness overcome anger.
If we exhibit a gentle nature with ourselves when we are feeling angry, we can learn to overcome the anger that often arises in us for whatever reason. Often we feel guilt for our angry feelings or admonish ourselves for them. Our emotions are a natural occurrence, we should understand this and treat ourselves gently when they occur. I don't think this gives us free range to let our emotions get away from us, but taking care with ourselves and allowing our feelings may help us in our reactions next time. I also believe that practicing gentleness towards another when they exhibit anger, will eventually if not immediately, diffuse the situation, and help them to learn to exude a gentleness in return. Being gentle with someone when they are feeling vulnerable (because anger can make rise in you a whole variety of emotions, including insecurity) shows them that you are interested in their well-being instead of the argument to be 'right'. I think that is an immediate "situation-diffuser".
With generosity overcome meanness.
I'm not as sure about the correlation of generosity to meanness but I'll do my best here. Meanness can also be miserliness, I suppose. But what I'm feeling here is the actual state of being hard-hearted. Generosity can often soften ones heart; not just generosity of the monetary means, but of the spirit, as well. Sometimes having a generous heart towards someone else is all that is needed to melt theirs. A lot of people live their lives on the defensive. Know anybody like that? In any given situation, you may come across someone like this and not even know it. Or maybe you will from their body language or demeanor. In a situation with a potential 'meanie' you never know what the situation may turn into. Sometimes the only control you have is your own behavior. Like I said, sometimes all it may take is a softening of your own heart to stop their 'meanness' in its tracks. It's worth trying. You can catch more flies with sugar, and all that...
With truth overcome deceit.
Always trying to practice truth in your daily life will surely help you to start to overcome the habit of deceit and deceitful acts. Practicing truth and truthful habits, especially as an example to our children, will teach them that truth is a sure way to a life of honor, whereas living your life always surrounded by dishonesty is a means of unnecessary stress and worry. I also feel that this can be applied to living your truth and being authentic. When you break the fear of living to please everyone else you can stop the charade of deceit and can live truthfully and honestly. Live your truth, live by truth, and you will surely overcome deceit.
With these three practices in mind, especially this time of year when so many are experiencing such a different range of emotions that are masked behind depression and anger, be the light you wish to see spread. It has to start somewhere.
Thanks for reading today,
Namaste
Nanette
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their own suffering. Some suffer too much, some too little.
-Buddha
Week 32
This is the time of year that is a great source of stress for many. The holidays bring with them mixed feelings. Some are overjoyed at what this time of year brings, while others carry the burden of trying to figure out what they are going to do to try and have or give a happy holiday, if they are in dire emotional or financial straits.
When we are feeling the stress associated with the holidays, especially the financial strain of trying to juggle bills with providing "things" to all who are expecting them, we tend to hold resentments. I know from either personal experience or through observance that we especially resent those who have "more" than we do. Those that can breeze through the holiday season seemingly without a care in the world can be a great source of contention for some. Those that tend to appear to have all they need to perform all their duties this holiday season with ease, comfort and joy, while the rest of us struggle to figure out a way to make ends meet. In this situation it is best to calm our worries and remember that, despite what appears to be true, what your perceptions are, everyone has their own set of struggles.
The more you resent someone, for whatever reason, the more suffering you bring upon yourself. While it may be true that some certainly struggle less intensely than others, it is not our job to decide who deserves what. Only we can control our own suffering. Holding on to resentments will only add to that suffering, whereas practicing the art of "letting go" and reserving our judgments will keep us free of heartache, as we won't be comparing 'ours' with 'theirs'.
Just focus on what you can do this season, whatever your traditions are. I'm sure you really want this time of year to be about connecting with family (in a good way...), enjoying all the things you only get to do once a year, focusing on and reconnecting with what this time of year means to you and your belief system/religion so that you can, hopefully, carry it with you all through the year. And, of course, gift giving.
Sharing with others those special tokens of your love and appreciation for them, whether it's your time and attention, your help, or something handmade or store-bought, is what we all look forward to this time of year. It's not about the size of the item, but the size of your heart.
Open it to others this year. Really try to see them as individuals, just like you, trying to get through this season that can often be trying and confusing, when it doesn't need to be. Be the example you want to see from someone else. When you are out in the hustle and bustle, be kind, considerate, loving even. Show them that this is the time of year to actually slow down, not speed up, and really notice the joy around you. I think by now you have figured out that I strongly believe that our actions have the power to trigger chain reactions, good or bad.
Contribute to the good. You will, undoubtedly, change someone's day. That's the greatest gift of all.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Namaste
Nanette
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
How easy it is to see your brother's faults, how hard it is to face your own.
--Buddha
Week 31
I'll bet we are all quite guilty of this: easily spotting someone else's faults while conveniently forgetting our own. It is so much easier to pick at and pull apart someone else while avoiding ourselves in the mirror. We use many distractions to avoid self-reflection, actually; directing the focus onto someone else is just one way we escape the hard truth about ourselves.
We, as a human race, also have a great tendency to escape reality with drinking, drugs, food, shopping, promiscuity, television, the Internet or gambling. Most of us do these things plus point fingers at everyone else and avoid working on ourselves for the greater good. All are distractions from dealing with the hard work it takes to be better individuals. Sometimes it is easier to concentrate on the faults of others than to do the hard work on ourselves.
The 'faults' of others may not even be faults at all. Maybe just differences. Differences in opinion, how we raise our children, what foods we eat, who we love, what religion we choose, what philosophy we follow, our beliefs, our politics, even our morals. Different doesn't necessarily mean wrong.
If we open our hearts and minds, we may see that all of our differences may not be all that different, after all. We must realize that we're all in this together and we all basically want the same things--happiness, peace, love. Our differences don't really matter, anyway. What matters is that we accept each other for who we are, with respect and dignity. Our contrasts and diversities, and our ability to consciously accept them, are what make our species unique. Acceptance brings us together, acceptance breaks down barriers, acceptance eliminates fear.
When you learn to accept others for whom and what they are, you are better able to accept yourself. Looking in that mirror and practicing a bit of self-reflection won't be so hard. I guarantee you'll stop wanting to focus on everyone else's 'faults' and want to start fixing your own.
Be gracious in your thoughts of others. Be gracious in your reflection of yourself.
Thanks for reading
Namaste
Nanette
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.
--Buddha
Week 30
Well, if ever there was something I was abundant in, it's ideas. Being brave or audacious enough to see them through...well, I'm getting there. Afterall, I have started these two blogs and submitted a few articles to a well traveled website. So I think I've done a pretty good job of stepping out of my confining walls of doubt or fear that have been holding me back.
But, it's feeling like the time to really start focusing on putting more of my ideas into action; bringing them into fruition. I don't believe that it's completely due to fear that I am so slow to find my motivation, but it is still a factor with me, even though I've learned so much about letting go of fear and doing what makes me happy and not holding myself back due to what other's opinions may be.
I also suffer from periodic ALML-Acute Lack of Motivation and Laziness (pst...I just made that up, by the way...). Again, this could be a by product of fear, and I'm working on figuring that out, too. It is important to realize where your actions, or lack thereof, are coming from so that you are properly equipped to conquer those not-so-good-for-you actions.
Whatever the reason, an idea that just stays inside you as a thought is useless. If you leave the seeds in their packages in the shed they won't grow. They must be planted, fertilized, cared for and the weeds need to be pulled out to give them room to root well. They must be nurtured until they are fully grown and ripe for harvesting. But it's important that you DO reap what you sow. What's the use in doing all of that hard work, if you are just going to let the garden rot and never enjoy the benefits of your labors?
The same goes for all of your thinking and planning. I do a lot of it, myself. But there comes a time when you have to put your "what-if's" aside and believe in yourself enough to take the risk of putting yourself out there. You never know unless you try. What's the worst that could happen? You could be told 'no' if you're looking for an approval for something, you could be criticized by other people, you could outright fail.
Well, then, ask the person telling you 'no' the 'why' and work on fixing it to turn it into a 'yes' next time. You've probably been criticized before in your life, and while it doesn't feel very good, use it to your advantage and be open minded. If it seems like constructive criticism, use that to your advantage. Learn from it, don't be angry at it. It's all in your perception, after all. If it just seems like cruel naysaying, ignore it. You know what the purpose of that is, and you don't need that in your life. You can choose to disregard that which does not serve you. And if you just outright, 100%, flat on your face fail...well, you can choose to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and learn from your mistakes.
It worked when you were five years old learning to ride a bike, and it will work the same way now. You wanted it badly enough to keep at it then, so why not reach back and pull from that same determination you had when you were an innocent youth?
I think I'm ready to take the training wheels off...you with me?
Have a great week, and thanks so much for reading.
Namaste
Nanette
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
"As I am, so are others; as are others, so am I." Having thus identified self and others, harm no one nor have them harmed.
--Buddha
Week 29
The world has a lot to learn from this quote. The moment we stop seeing ourselves as separate, different, and start realizing that we are all One, is the moment we start to heal. We will heal from the inside out; inside us, and out into the world.
It's a big lesson for most, "As I am, so are others..." If everyone would think of each other as the same--same families to take care of, same jobs to work, same bills to pay, same life struggles, same joys, same sorrows--maybe we could start to feel a kinship with one another that should encourage us to not want to harm each other. And there's more to harming someone than with a hand.
Our cruel and unfair judgments or even outright selfish disdain for someone 'different' or 'beneath' us is a slap in the face with just as much sting. What makes us so supposedly 'different' is our reaction and preconceived thoughts about who someone is based on the external and our treatment of each other. We are all basically the same: human beings who need a connection.
Now, I know what you're probably thinking..."Well, not everybody has the same job or bills, struggles or even sorrows..." Yeah, some have it perceivably 'better' than others. But do you really begrudge them their good fortune? You don't know how long that's all going to last for them, and you most likely don't know the work that they did to get there. Would you want them to begrudge you for your good fortune, whatever it may be, without even knowing you or what you went through to get it, or even how grateful you are everyday to have it? Or would you rather they encourage you and congratulate you, with honest love and goodwill in their hearts?
It certainly is a nice sentiment, isn't it? Being happy for someone else?
Try to open your heart to others. You will be surprised at the gifts you receive in return. This practice may not create global peace just yet, but it's a heck of a good start.
Thank you so much for sharing with me today.
Namaste
Nanette
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
Teach this triple truth to all: a generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity.
--Buddha
Week 28
Though these lessons are about 2500 years old, and the time between our modern age and the time of Shakyamuni Buddha is spanned over two millennia, the basis of the "Triple Truth" he speaks of has not changed all that much. Here, I give a breakdown of my interpretation of how I can use the three aspects of this lesson in my everyday life. I think you will see that it won't take you too far out of your way to bring some light of your own to humanity.
A Generous Heart: being generous can mean so many things. Yes, the first thing you are probably thinking of is being generous with your money. Donating money to a good cause or charity is important. Helping others in this way is great, not only for them, but you will reap the rewards of tuning your vibrations into being one who gives freely; and the Universe will reward you right back. You can also be generous with your time. Volunteering your time to help others is a fantastic way to give back and share some generosity. Even just taking the time to do something nice for someone else on a day to day basis is a great way to show generosity and selflessness.
Kind Speech: Always try to be mindful of what you are saying. Take a split second before you speak to gauge whether or not what you are about to say will be beneficial or harmful. Be the one who 'gifts' someone else with a kind word. Words are so powerful, for those who hear them, and those who speak them. Try to remember to think first before 'stirring the pot', so to speak, with gossip, or anything you know in your heart will be hurtful to someone else. Really decide if it's worth it. This is one of the difficult changes for me, personally, because we tend to do it without a second thought, and it is such a habit to 'speak our minds'. I have to really be diligent in asking myself "is it worth it?" when I want to argue or feel the need to be 'right'. It took a bit of practice, but I really do feel so much better when I concede and keep my undue opinions to myself. I'm not always successful at it, but it's becoming the new habit for me.
A Life of Service and Compassion: "How may I serve" is a new thought I have very recently familiarized myself with. It's a shocking concept when we are so used to being a selfish breed. Think of all the different ways you can serve; you might be surprised with what you come up with. Pick one, practice it. See how that makes you feel. Notice that you have not lost anything from it, but more than likely gained something invaluable. There are many different ways to serve another. Again, volunteering is a great way to serve your community, but the way I have come to learn to serve is by lending myself to being there for someone else in need, the best way I can. If that just means being a good friend and listening, you are serving. Or if it means being a little less selfish and stepping up to be available when needed, for whatever reason, that's servitude, as well. This does not mean to completely sacrifice yourself all off the time. Just be a little more conscious of another's needs, not just your own, and serve with an open heart, out of love and compassion.
Speaking of Compassion, I've just recently come to the realization that everyone wants the same thing: to be happy. If we can look at each other in this way, that we are all in the "same boat", that we are all basically the same, our compassion for each other will grow. Our love will expand to them as we should love ourselves. When we see in another the suffering that we ourselves have endured, our compassion for their suffering will grow, and we will want them to suffer no more, just as we long to end our own suffering. When you start to see other people like this, hopefully your compassion for them will grow into something that will encourage you to treat people with a more kind, open heart.
I know I always say this, but just imagine what would happen if each person set aside their differences, their selfishness, and their fear and lived with a more compassionate, generous and kind way about them, thinking of others before themselves a little more. What kind of world would we live in? I really want to see that world, and live in it. It's up to each one of us to decide to be better. We can create that world, even if it's just the small "world" of your everyday life within your circle of existence.
When you drop a pebble in the water, no matter how small, it still forms concentric rings that affect the whole body of water. Let your smile, your generosity, kindness and compassion be that pebble.
Thank you for being here today.
Namaste
Nanette
(*Note: The wisdoms that I speak of here are taken from the multiple teachings that I have observed through books and video along my journey from authors and teachers such as Dr. Wayne Dyer and the Venerable Thubten Chodron, a Western (American) Buddhist Nun who speaks very plainly about how to relate our Western modern selves to becoming better people through compassion and wisdom)
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Sundays With Buddha
Let a man overcome anger by love.
--Buddha
Week 27
It was my eleventh anniversary yesterday, and with my mind on my marriage, I can't think of a better example of this quote than my husband, Noah. I've never known a more loving man, slow to anger, quick to forgive.
He is a wonderful example of what I have been striving to become since I had the luck of becoming his partner--a peaceful soul. Some are just born with the natural ability to be peaceful and kind, and that's Noah. He has taught me through the years that I can have faith in 'mankind'. He has shown me that anger and upset is not a natural part of every human being, and is not a necessary reaction.
This is not to say that he doesn't get upset or disappointed or angry, but this is almost always short lived. Where I have had to work very diligently on my reaction to whatever it is that is happening to me, he has always been the calm one. Over the years I have been the one to study and learn new ways to live a more peaceful life, and I have passed on what I learned to him, but he has always just had an inherent peace, a natural calm about him, for the most part.
So, what does this have to do with this week's quote? Am I just going to go on and on with stars in my eyes about how wonderful my husband is? I'd love to, because, though he can still be less-than-perfect just the same as anyone else, I think he's pretty terrific, but this is not my intention (I saved that for Facebook). I'm just wanting to show the gratitude I have for him this week, and to share that he is my constant reminder to overcome anger with love, because I have had the honor of having his example in my life for so many years.
I believe love can cure many things. Loving kindness can bring together many people. You just need to open your heart to try it. Who is the example in your life that proves this to you? Who would you like to emulate in order to become a better person? Just observe what they do and how they handle themselves and try it for yourself sometime. You can never go wrong with love.
Have a great week and be safe.
Namaste
Nanette
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