Living The Dream...

Ahh...Florida. Feet up, breeze swaying the palm trees and boats docked in the canal right behind the condo.

Vacation with my husband. Finally. 

Living the dream, right? Well, I guess it all depends on what your dreams are. Is a nice vacation in the tropical breeze your dream? It sure is nice, but is it your ultimate dream? How about the opportunity to live in your dream destination? World travel, doing what you love, becoming your ultimate physically fit or spiritual self?

How about becoming learned, obtaining a degree, switching jobs, writing your memoir? Yeah, me, too. It all sounds good, but how do we obtain it?  

First, you have to evaluate what your dreams are. Really daydream about them. Get to know them. Try them on for size. Visualize yourself living them-travel, dream job, performing feats of strength, having time to meditate in the silence of a morning sunrise, expertly performing that yoga pose you never thought you could...

Visualization is the key to manifesting your dreams. That, and actual belief that you deserve to have it, and bonafide hard work. You can visualize and believe all you want, but if you spend all your time doing that while doing nothing else to work towards your goals, it most likely won't ever happen. Nothing ever comes from sitting idle, you have to act as well as dream. I believe in the law of attraction: what you put out with a clear and positive intention will find it's way to you (keep in mind, all that negative, jumbled mess of thinking we do day to day will also find it's way to you...) and it will find it's way often--the parking space you visualize yourself getting, the spot in the coffee house you love, even the promotion you long for. But, life long changes take work as well as thought. 

"If you build it, they will come..."

I love the movie "Field of Dreams" because it's magical...whimsical, but it tells the truth, in a way. Kevin Costner's character had to do the work behind the dream. He had to take a (huge) risk and plow under a great deal of his crops for this ridiculous and lofty idea. No one understood what he was doing, not even his own family. They thought he was nuts for mowing down his means of income right when they needed it most! He was in financial trouble, bills were stacking up, his farm was in danger...and he goes crazy. 

Turns out, he wasn't crazy at all. All of these little synchronicities kept building up. The school book banning meeting that led him to drive to the author of said book's house, the stops on the way because of the drive...(*spoiler alert!*) he went with his dream, his gut, and did the work. He built it and they came. From everywhere. And the money he made from the ball games played on the diamond he mowed his corn under for saved his house, his farm, his family. 

Yeah...the ghosts of baseball players past helped his dream come true; it is Hollywood, after all. But the lesson is there. He took a risk, trusted his gut and his heart, and plowed on (pun intended). Not all of our dreams are as lofty as this, some will be close, some even bigger. It will happen. Maybe not over night, but don't rule that out! Your intention is your own; don't listen to nay sayers and let them rule your decisions. Listening to negative talk from others leads to negative self-talk, which leads to doubt. You must keep in mind a phrase I learned from Louise Hay, "When people around me are negative, I say to myself, 'It might be true for you, but it's not true for me.'" You don't have to buy into their negative beliefs or their own self-talk. That's them; you are you. 

Use this formula I came up with as a quick reminder of how to begin your thinking. It doesn't have to be about manifesting something other than a great day:             want + intention + action= success. It will take time to learn to master your thinking and your belief in yourself enough to make your dreams a reality. But it is so worth it. When I think back to when I was a mess, always doubtful, always negative I think "Wow, It's been so long since I was like that; it really seems like it's been forever." But, in truth, all we have is now, and it doesn't seem that long ago. How long it took no longer matters, for, when you live in the moment, that's all you have. No projections into the future worrying about how long it will take to become the you that you desire. You already are that person, you just have to let them out. And when you live in the Now, you don't realize there is anything else to look back on or worry about getting to; you just live. Each day you will see that this is the time and place you belong, and all will be well. 

Baby steps, my friends. Baby steps.

I am so happy right now, in this moment, sharing with you loving thoughts and feelings. This is my dream. 

No pinching necessary.

I wish you peace and great joy on your journey.

Peace,

Nanette

Living With Joy...

If you read my newsletter then there's a good chance you read last week's in which I discussed Finding Happiness. I linked you to articles from fellow bloggers that offered you advice that has worked for them, and countless others, to help them live more joyful and positive lives. In that newsletter we learned how to return to the NOW, control our over thinking mind and even give support to our friends who are suffering with depression.  (Be sure to check out this weeks newsletter, as well: Living With Joy. It's a perfect companion to this weeks post.)

This week I want to write a post on how I return to the joy I want to live with, even in the midst of a sometimes very chaotic life. I was (and sometimes still am) a chronic over thinker, worrier, and very prone to depression. It has been a long time commitment to change the way I think and act so that I may live a more peaceful existence--with joy. 

So, what do I do to return to joy when the joy in life seems to be lost? Well, first I own my sorrow/worries/fears. I accept it. I feel it. I look at it. Only then can you move on. As with any relationship or situation, you first need to accept it to change it. Burying your head in the sand doesn't make anything go away. I wrote an article for tinybuddha.com that addresses the difficulties and fears about getting things done when you are feeling overwhelmed. It's often very difficult to get out of the complacent rut that we often allow ourselves to fall into, but, with commitment and dedication, we most certainly can. I am proof. 

Living with joy can mean whatever you want it to. For me, it is living a fulfilling life, filled with situations and people that make me happy. For so long, I have put myself on the back burner because I am compelled to serve others. But, if we constantly put other people before ourselves, we will eventually burn out, and start harboring resentment along the way. The problem with this for a lot of us is the inevitable feelings of guilt, selfishness and even shame, both for doing for ourselves or feelings of resentment when we don't. 

It took me such a long time to start getting over this, and I still have trouble. I am getting better at it, though. You must be willing to work hard on the process of gifting yourself the life you deserve. 

You heard me right. The life you deserve. 

In order to live fully, joyfully, you must take care of yourself. I have said, time and again, that we must learn to put ourselves first in order to take care of everything and everyone else. I have finally started to do this, but it sure does feel uncomfortable--at first. Here are four examples of changes I've made in my life to start putting myself first and placing myself on that path to joyful living.

1. I've started opening up more about what is heavy on my heart and in my head. You can't go on bottling everything up inside. This doesn't mean you have to air your dirty laundry all over social media or tell the grocery store clerk all about it, but, telling someone close to you or seeking out professional advice can help wonders to help you "put it all out there" so you can see it and evaluate it with the help of the neutral ear of someone else. You also must respect yourself enough to discuss what your concerns are about the people in your life with the people in your life. If you do so in a loving and tactful way, you can release any resentments you may have and the stress that goes with it.
2. I've started to remind myself that I am worthy and deserving of my dreams, no matter how "far-fetched" they may seem to me or anyone else. We have the freedom to dream, wonder and hope. No one can take that away from us. Let yourself wonder, daydream and aspire to whatever your heart desires. Does this mean you will get everything you hope for? Maybe not, but by letting yourself get it all out, you may naturally narrow it down, anyway. You may not want everything on your "list" after you give yourself a chance to actually want it and see how it feels.
3. I've started trusting in doing things that make me happy, and working on not feeling guilty about it. We so often dedicate ourselves to taking care of other people-our kids, family, even our jobs-that we forget to do nice things for ourselves. Then, when we do, we feel guilty for even thinking of putting ourselves first. Don't get me wrong, serving others is a wonderful way to connect with them and your own spirit, for to give to others you also give to yourself. But, you must take care of you, put yourself first, in order to properly care for the people in your life. 
4. I've started putting aside my fear of risk and putting this all together and taking the plunge. You can think about doing these things, but until you actually overcome your fears and do it, it's not doing you any good. It has been so freeing to stop being afraid of the things I want and actually seeking them out. I have been so happy with life in the last several weeks, that I can't believe it. All it took was believing in myself and setting aside my fear of failure and disappointment. I have stopped worrying about what other people might think and started to just go for it. And, it has been working! The most amazing opportunities have opened up for me, and this is only the beginning. 

Living a life of joy shouldn't be a struggle. It should come naturally, as it is meant to. We are meant to be happy, joyful, loving and kind. We keep ourselves from this because we often don't believe we are worthy or deserving. We are. If you have pure intention for obtaining the things you desire, then those things will find their way to you. We create our reality. No one else is responsible for our happiness and we cannot be solely responsible for anyone else's. Love yourself enough and you will always be surrounded by love. 

Good luck on your journey to living with joy. You will always find encouragement here.

Thanks for reading today.

Peace,

Nanette