Sundays With Buddha

To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent.

                                                                                                  --Buddha

Week 43

Though the Buddha lived and taught around 500 years before Christ, there are many similarities between the Buddha's teachings and the Bible. The idea of "idle hands" from Christianity is very similar to the lesson taught here. This is not a religious discussion, however; I am merely pointing out another similarity between the two in hopes that more understanding is felt and that there is no "right and wrong" way to becoming a more divine and loving being. 

My words are never meant to anger anyone; on the contrary it is to hopefully unite us all by teaching compassion and respect for each other and our beliefs. If we are all longing to meet at the same destination, what does it matter which path we take as long as we all take the high road? 

That being said, the lesson here is clear to me, just as the lessons in the Bible also imply in Proverbs 10:4 "Idle hands make one poor, but diligent hands bring riches", 1 Timothy 5:13 "Besides that, they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not" and 1 Thessalonians 5:14 "And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all". 

This sounds like a calling for us to be diligent in helping others to succeed while it is also a warning that idle hands and idle minds are more apt to create trouble. Foolish idle people who don't care to busy themselves with matters of doing good such as helping others, creating joy around them for the sake of themselves and others, praying or meditating, taking care of their bodies, minds and finances, and tending to their own personal business, like the diligent person does, often give themselves over to mischief, gossip, laziness, and other non productive idle thoughts and actions. 

What I believe this lesson to be teaching for our modern world is that it's just as important in this time to mind our own business while still maintaining the charitable heart towards others and to pay attention to how we live our lives and each day try to do good for ourselves as well as all beings, so that we do not fall victim of our idle minds.

As I have written about before, it is definitely hard to break habits that we have perfected for most of our lives. Our ways are ingrained in us and it will take hard work, diligent work, to change. But becoming better, at least trying to put forth the effort to be better, for the sake of bettering the world, even if just your circle of it...is that not worth the effort? 

I hope you believe it is. Because that means someone else believes it is. And your effort will shine through and encourage the next, and their's will, and so on. 

Diligence.  

Thanks for reading today.

Namaste

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

                         








He who for the sake of happiness hurts others who also want happiness,  shall not hereafter find happiness.  
                                                                                                 --Buddha

Week 42

I think someone who would sacrifice another being's happiness for their own could never truly find happiness. It may seem like the 'happiness' they feel is true, but the moral ramifications will eventually hinder it. What could it possibly mean to "hurt others for the sake of happiness"?

Have you ever seen someone willingly sabotage someone else to get what they want? In the workplace, for instance, when someone takes credit for work that he or she did not do just to promote themselves, while leaving their co-worker behind is one common example. They did so to create a level of happiness for themselves, at the sake of another's 'happiness'. This could be as little a thing as taking a parking space that you could have given to someone else that had been waiting before you. Ring a bell?

It may may seem that some people, no matter what, have it all together. You know the ones: people that seem to always get everything they want no matter how they act. You've probably even said to yourself at least once or twice "why do good things always happen to not so good people?"

You wonder this with a bit of disdain, probably because you know you are a relatively good person, yet "bad" things seem to always come your way. What you have to remember is:

1. You are not with these people all of the time. You are only seeing a glimpse into their lives; often only what they want us to see. We don't really know what is happening within their lives if we aren't there to experience it all.

2. Often, with arrogance, comes confidence. Yes, it can certainly be opposite that, too, as we often observe those with the least confidence deep down having the most arrogance up front, but when someone believes they deserve the best things and are missing that fear of never getting what they want, their vibration is tuned to receiving.
Just keep in mind...you will eventually receive what you ask for, good or bad.

3. The happiness one may gain from the many methods they use to get it will, undoubtedly, never be fully enjoyed, no matter how callous and selfish they seem. The Universe seems to work on a system of checks and balances, and "stealing from the rich to give to the poor", or, in this case, crushing someone else's happiness for their own gain, will disrupt that balance.

If you take away someone's happiness just to make yourself happy-are you ever truly happy? Hopefully the balance will happen by the taker realizing the immorality of such an act and changing how they conduct themselves. We have choices on how to balance out our lives. It's nice to be able to do it ourselves, but, either way, the balance will happen; the lessons will come.

Is it not just easier to allow others their own happiness? Maybe even try to go a little bit out of our way to bestow upon another a bit of happiness and in turn, gift yourself. I'd much rather be rewarded in that way.

It certainly feels better to me than trying to gain through a selfish act.


Thank you so much for taking the time to read today.

Namaste

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

Just as a solid rock is not shaken by the storm, even so the wise are not affected by praise or blame.
                                                                                                                  --Buddha

Week 41

"The Wise", or a variation of it, is used in many of these teachings. It sounds quite mystical and majestic but I really do believe it refers to anyone who has come to terms with who they are and the reality and nature of life. This can be anyone who understands the importance of following any noble path and practices a life of noble actions. What exactly are 'noble actions'? What is it to be noble? Does it require going way above and beyond our meager human ability?

Well, first of all, there is nothing meager about our abilities.  We all just very often do not realize how amazing we are. We doubt more than we believe. We shirk more than we accept. But, the answer is 'no'. We don't need to go above and beyond our abilities. Start with what is considered noble to you. Maybe it means a life of kindness and generosity or always trying to be truthful and compassionate. You don't have to join a monastery to become a noble person.

So, how does one become the 'wise' of which the Buddha speaks? According to what I have learned over time, and this is just my experience and oppinion mind you, when you get to a point in your studies, your faith or your life, when the ego, or the "I" that you identify with based on your belief of who you are as told to you by you and your 'story', has dropped away so much that you are not affected so deeply by either loss or gain, praise or blame, you have started to rise above the external things that we often associate with who we are.

When you are no longer crushed by or feel a terrible loss as a person for 'screwing up' or making mistakes and you are no longer basing your worth on feeling exalted, self-important or prideful over praise or honor, and are also not shaken when you experience loss or gain alike, you have dropped the ego and have stopped identifying with your losses or accomplishments.

The 'wise' are those who realize that all things come and go and that to identify who you ultimately are with these things is futile. They do not feel overwhelming loss when they have loss, nor do they feel overwhelming pride at any one gain. They realize that losses and gains are cyclic, moving in and out of the open doors and windows of their lives, and should not be counted on for their happiness. They are content, day by day, with their life; centered and present, like a solid rock that can withstand any storm.

This may seem like a dramatic feat; unattainable,  even. I don't write these posts to express how you should be, or even how I am everyday of my life. I use what I have learned from various teachings, and now from these wisdoms from the Buddha, to try to make sense of my life and to learn what I can do to get the best experiences from it. We all live with and through so much pain; pain that is not always necessary.  I'm just taking in these lessons to learn how to live joyfully, and share joy. Life is a learning process and a hands-on experience. One of those lessons is that we are supposed to live with joy and spread joy. If continuing to work towards attaining your goals and dreams makes you happy, then pursue your dreams. Just learn to stay unattached so that it is not undone by sorrow.

Be the rock of your own life. If you can weather the storm that life dishes out, you'll be around for a while.  More importantly,  you'll enjoy it.

Thank you so much for being here today. I truly appreciate you spending time here.

Namaste

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

If a man going down into a river,  swollen and swiftly flowing,  is carried away by the current--how can he help others across?
                                                                                                             --Buddha

Week 40

As I go along, week by week, I open my journal to find a good quote to learn from. Sometimes I search it out, sometimes I just happen to open the book to the most perfectly appropriate page for what is happening in my life. Mostly I've picked the lesson that I can relate to, leaving the more difficult to decipher quotes for another time. As I get closer to the end of this series and this journey, I'm finding those left-behind quotes more often, as they are becoming all I have left to choose from. As they get more difficult, I must really take the time to concentrate on understanding its meaning as it pertains to my life, and realize that, yes, it takes some time and effort, but truly learning to better myself is so worth it.

My main desire in life is to help others by sharing my experiences and show them that, even in times of what you feel is hopelessness, you still have the ability to rise above it and overcome desperation.  I have fallen time and time again, but the miracle of resilience and faith picked me up and brushed me off. I really do believe that if I can do it, you can, too.

That being said, what I interpret this week to be telling us is--how can we expect to help anyone, even if your intentions are pure and steadfast, if you are liable to get carried away by your emotions and /or lack of self-control in any given situation? Swept away by the current of your emotions or untamed, chaotic thinking, how can you be focused enought to lend help to another? If you jump in when you are not ready, you might just get carried away as well; and then you will both be swiftly moving down that dangerous path that could very well lead to destruction in which you both could be lost.

I am not implying that you stop trying to help others in need or to even stop giving advice that could be helpful. We all learn from one another and the many situations that we must endure. But to be able to offer service to anyone else, we first must have strong footing on the foundation of ourselves. We must work towards the strength and confidence we need to gain for ourselves in order not to get swept away by the current when we jump in to help someone else.

If we always sacrifice ourselves and what we need in order to become strong, emotionally sound individuals, always jumping in to help others and foregoing our own needs, what will we have to anchor us to the shore? Without knowing ourselves, we may not be able to remain neutral and may get in too deep to the turmoil that those we long to help are swimming through.

Like I said, you don't have to stop helping, all together. But make sure you know where you stand and that you have on your own life preserver before jumping in. It's ok to take time for yourself, to strengthen your own mental well being. It's admirable to always jump in to help, but it's also admirable to help yourself, too; it reflects strength. Even I live by the code "how may I serve?". But, I am learning that I must care for myself first or I won't be strong enough to be there should someone need me. I will always be there to serve,  but I am learning to throw the rope in first, and try and show them how to help themselves.


Thank you for reading,

Namaste

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own thoughts, unguarded.
                                                                                                                 --Buddha


Week 39

I wrote a post week two that was very similar to the idea of this lesson. In fact, I used this quote as an example to further my point in that post back in May. That week was about succumbing to your dislike of another and harboring feelings of ill-will, bringing you down to your "enemy's" level, that is, those that you feel strongly about or those that have shown some sort of discord towards you.

The point is that, even when there are people that seem like your enemy, nothing they can say or do can harm you as much as your own chaotic critical thoughts, essentially making you your own worst enemy. People in our lives come and go, but we are with ourselves forever. Even their treatment of us moves out of our lives just as they do, or so it should. But our minds tend to retain that treatment we received, those scenarios we were participants in, and our thoughts continue about it as if they'd never left. Our own minds will continue the painful memories and, since our bodies can't tell the difference between what is really happening or what's just happening in our minds, we feel and react as if it is all still presently happening, thanks to our incessant and unguarded thoughts.

We often tend to put ourselves down more than anyone else in our lives. Negative self-talk seems to be prevalent in our culture, especially for women. I think it might mostly be due to the fact that we want to put ourselves down first to save us the pain of living through someone else doing it. Rejection and insults hurt, no matter what positive things we read or are told we should do to ignore them, but we still often sabotage ourselves with self deprecation before we give anyone else the chance. And, when this becomes a habit, the pain we think we are saving ourselves is actually forming a scar, just the same as if anyone else were responsible.

We don't harm ourselves with just negative self-talk about our bodies, hair, wardrobe or our accomplishments, or lack thereof. When we leave our thoughts unguarded and stop paying attention to keeping ourselves grounded in reality, such as what's actually happening as opposed to a fantasy of what is taking place, we are creating patterns out of this way of thinking and letting this negativity interfere with other aspects of our lives. How many times have you re-played an argument with someone over and over in your mind, changing the outcome to something more rewarding for you? Or re-playing the scenario and feeling the hurt inside each time just as if it were happening to you again and again?

Being a negative thinker becomes a habit, creating this new you that doesn't even realize the damage you are doing to yourself, let alone affecting how we treat others and forgetting how to have kindness and compassion. What kind of people will we become if we continue to leave our thoughts unchecked?  I know from experience it's easy to become hateful, depressed, angry, and lazy, even. The harm we can do to ourselves is much more than even our worst enemy can accomplish. Who needs enemies when we have ourselves?

We can make peace with ourselves and keep peace with others by simply taking the time to return to our center when we feel our minds wandering. The more effort you put into this practice of realizing you are off on a tangent of negative thought, the easier it becomes to return yourself to reality; to realize that the hurt you may be feeling is so unnecessary. You will eventually begin to quickly notice you are doing it and will be able to stop it before it raises your blood pressure. You will begin to notice that you are so much more than the "thinker". You will begin to notice the you that is observing the thoughts. The real you. And you'll notice how much you are worth.

Thanks for reading today. Have a blessed week.

Namaste

Nanette 

Sundays With Buddha

   (Image courtesy of  Sierra Club. Check out their "9 Sacrifice Free Resolutions" Here)
  





Easy to do are things that are bad and harmful to oneself. But exceedingly difficult to do are things that are good and beneficial.
                                                                                       --Buddha



Week 38


Just in time for all of these resolutions we like to promise ourselves we will follow through with this year, here is a quote that seems to suggest even the Ancients might have wanted to get a jump on the new year, but realized the difficulty we often face.

It's hard to change, though we've all made the challenge to ourselves many times over, and we are not alone. Here is TIME.com's top 10 most commonly broken New Year's Resolutions (2012).   I bet we have all promised at least one (or 5) of these to ourselves over the years; I know I have. We all want to do better and we all wish and intend to succeed. But, as this quote indicates, it's much easier to do all the "bad" stuff, like eating what we know we really shouldn't, putting off the exercise until tomorrow, drinking too much, staying out too late, spending too frivolously, or allowing too much stress into our lives.

Being lazy and complacent is easy. Eating take-out instead of cooking a decent meal is easy. Ignoring our financial responsibilities is easy. The longer we "put off until tomorrow" the harder it it becomes to break bad habits and incorporate more productive ones into our lives. Almost all the things that are good and beneficial to us take work to accomplish.

Finding the strength to devote ourselves to healthful eating and proper exercise is work. If willpower was easy to come by, we'd all be doing it with ease. Being diligent with our money is also hard work. Telling ourselves "no" is difficult. Giving to charity instead of spending money on that much desired 'thing' is a very difficult endeavor, indeed, for most. Opening ourselves up to faith and spirit for the sake of our spiritual health and well-being is a big change for some, as is asking for help or delegating responsibilities when we need time to ourselves to reduce our stress.

If doing everything good for us was easy, we'd all be 'perfect' and never need improving. But that isn't always the case. It takes commitment, hard work, struggle and a lot of dedication to keep at it. While we may get down on ourselves for not finishing our resolutions, I say keep making them. It's ok to dream, as big as you can. And it's ok to fail. Just keep trying. Maybe 2014 will be your year to accomplish all your resolutions. ;)

Here's to a great year to come.

Namaste

Nanette