Sweet Serendipity

I had been struggling with my topics for a new post here on this blog, writing and re-writing, taking way too much time to get even one simple post up, for what seems like forever. Every time I thought I knew what I wanted to write about, those thoughts would change as I encountered a new experience. Just when I would start to get frustrated at not having a solid topic to concentrate on, I remembered that that is how the Universe works: Ever changing and leading us in the direction we are meant to go. Putting the absolute right people and situations in our path to give us the experiences we need to grow.

I recently met some fantastic people via tiny buddha, here on my own blog, and on Twitter. I am so grateful that I finally found the courage to share myself with people and open myself up to receive them and their own wisdom.

How gracious they were with their encouragement and generous spirits. It reminded me of the true reason I started opening myself up to everyone. It has been my goal and dream to share the many experiences in my 3-plus decades of life that I have struggled with or watched my family and friends struggle with, and have been made stronger by. I just wanted to share with people that they were not alone in their struggles, and that they were not "bad" or "wrong" in some way. That life is meant to be lived beautifully and that they deserve that life as much as anyone else.

I didn't quite know what I wanted to say for this post or how I wanted to say it, I just wanted to somehow express my "filled to the brim" gratitude for the connections I've made over the last few months.
Then something made me go back to the first two posts I submitted and read through the comments. I hadn't read through them in a while, and I needed the inspiration from the many great people who opened their own lives and emotions to me and everyone else reading.

What I found was bittersweet. Two new comments were waiting for me. They were both very  honestly emotional, though they were two totally different experiences. These women got something out of my story that touched them enough that they shared their own stories--one of hope, one of triumph--with everyone else, thus continuing the cycle of encouragement and connection between us all.

I feel like I am on cloud 9 after reading all of the comments there, on top of all the other great connections I've made over the last few weeks.
I love that we are all connecting with each other. This Awakening--it is happening--right now. All around us. Everyone is a part of it, whether you realize it or not. What a bright spark in your awareness there will be when you come to realize this.

All of this made me think, once again, of the tug-of-war I've been having since my mom passed about the work I am doing at the moment. I have a good job. One that any number of people would envy having, I suppose. I am grateful for this job that has sustained my family for 15 years, providing us with much needed medical benefits and good pay. I am now able to appreciate the connections I make with the people I interact with every day. I now realize that this career has always been a part of the plan to condition me for my highest calling, but I am still not as fulfilled as I feel I should be.

There are so many politically based things that go on in the health care setting, especially in hospitals. I am feeling more and more restrained by nonsensical rules and expectations. I feel itchy with the need to break away from it and do what makes me happy. But, at this point, I am still very reluctant to fully entertain the notion of leaving my job. How do we pay the bills in the interim? I have already learned about not asking the Universe the "How", "Why" or "When" and just putting your dream into your imagination and living from the feeling that it is already yours, but I am not so spontaneous as to take that much of a leap of faith.

So, I wait.

I won't wait forever. But I won't become destitute, either. I am trying to listen to my inner self. It seems to be telling me to GO! I seem to be getting signs every time I turn around to leave what is making me miserable and follow my heart. But I, like most of you, am so very cautious. This is a big deal!

I know I am on the right path that I am supposed to be on. I recognize that I've had the right people and situations placed in that path to encourage me to carry on as I am. Even though I am not as happy as I feel I could be in this job, I am making the most of what I've got until that big push I feel the Universe is urging me towards comes into perfect clarity. I have perfect, unwavering faith that the answers will come, and I will realize them. I will know when to hold steadfastly, and when to carry forth.

I'm sure I am still living my calling because I have met and interacted with all of you. I am certain that this new way of life is working for me because I am just happy with how things are right now. I have patience where I would have been in a great hurry years ago for my destiny to unfold. Instead, and thanks to all of you, I can see my destiny being fulfilled and that's enough for me.

I am happy enough with that.