Sundays With Buddha

 

 

 

Week 10

 

 

However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act upon them?

                                                                                                                     --Buddha

 

 

I had a real hard time last night/this morning at work. I’m finding my tolerance waning drastically at being treated unjustly. I’ve seemed to catch myself in the very beginning of re-developing the attitude of “I’m not going to let myself be treated this way.” But, to be fair to myself, this was an incident worthy of attention as it involved patients and would do well not to become repeated behavior. Anyhow, I fear a slow reversion back to my more negative attitudes, using language I shouldn’t, showing actions I regret, etc.

This quote is a welcome reminder that, no matter how much I say I am a believer in ‘this’ or ‘that’, if I never keep to the practices of which I “preach”, what good is the testimony of believing in such practices? I understand that life is a journey, learned along the way, from very real, very human mistakes and experiences and it is an ebb and flow of 'good' and 'bad', yin and yang, but I think we all would like the positive to outweigh any negative, more often than not, especially when we are making a concerted effort towards change.

The whole idea of doing this weekly lesson series was to get, and keep, me thinking of one of these wisdom lessons from the Buddha all week long, allowing me to contemplate it and write about how it has already helped me, or how I plan to incorporate it into my life, so that I can write a little all through the week and have it ready for publishing Saturday night/Sunday morning. The idea was that I would keep myself focused in the mindset that I long for, and hopefully help someone else in the meantime.

Instead, I've been allowing myself to get overwhelmed with everyday life and rush through the week barely holding on to my sanity with my everyday dealings and therefore rush to finish it all on Saturday afternoon (like right now),evening ,or very late Saturday night.

Not at all how this was meant to be, in my mind, anyway.

But, then, sitting here, pulling out my journal, opening right to this quote…turned out to be just what I needed; a reminder that I can put myself first, sometimes. This isn’t a job, homework, or a household chore.  I do this for my Spiritual health and to offer whatever insight I have to anyone who needs it. That is a top priority to me.

I desperately needed something to help remind me that, if I can't follow what I believe in, how can I reassure anyone that there is something out there to have hope for? Turning to that page in my journal just restored my faith that we are provided with whatever we need at the time. We just have to be open to seeing it.

 

I am so grateful for the little ‘wake-up call’ I received this afternoon. It reminded me to start making myself and my needs a priority. It’s okay to do that. When you take care of you, you are better to serve others, however you choose to do so.

 

Thank you for reading today.

 

Namaste,

Nanette

 

Sundays With Buddha

 

Week 9


"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared"
                                                                                                           --Buddha

 You don't have a meter on you that reads "HAPPINESS METER: LOW" each time you share joy. You don't deplete yourself of joy every time you spread it. In fact, when you share happiness with a kind word, a smile, or even just holding the door open for someone else or letting someone pull out ahead of you in traffic you spread joy. It makes you feel good. It makes them feel good. It's actually a bit of a stress reliever, doing a kindness. And, it will probably catch the person you are showing kindness to off guard, possibly even making their day. It will probably make them feel so good that they will want to keep it going for the next person they run into. And then you will most likely feel like doing more for someone else after that, too. And then you're smiling at people that you pass at work or at the store...

If you are a chronic grump, like I used to be, this sounds impossible, I know. Sometimes there are things going on in your life that are so overwhelming that you may not even be able to muster one smile, let alone grin like a fool at everyone you meet. But you owe it to yourself to at least try it, for your own sake. Baby steps…after all, it's not the people's fault that you pass in the grocery store if you can't make your house payment. When you are treated badly by someone else it affects your mood, right? And when someone shows you a kindness that does, too. Did you see them melt before your eyes like the Wicked Witch of the West? I doubt it. And you won't, either, no matter how much you think you might.

Do a little experiment, if just for yourself. Start small if you think you might be overwhelmed. This may sound so funny to those of you who have no trouble with being an extrovert who can share themselves openly with loving-kindness. But for some people, getting there is a struggle. It took me years to learn how to break down my walls and let people in. Sometimes it even takes a major life event. But it doesn't have to. You can start breaking down walls by just opening one door.

Just because it's the door to the gas station doesn't make it any less significant.

 

 

Good luck on your journey...

Namaste,

 

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

Week 8

It is better to travel well than to arrive.

                                                                     
                                                     --Buddha

                                     

 

Ah…I wish I could say I believe this quote to mean for us to drop everything, pack up and ride off into the sunset on countless exciting adventures never to look back. But I know that is not what is to be taken from this wisdom. What I believe the Buddha is conveying to us here is that it is better to live a full and productive life filled with love and compassion than it is to “arrive” (make it big, make a name for yourself, acquire all the ‘stuff’ that we think will make us happy, build our status, gain popular acceptance, etc…) and that what we do along our journey is just as, if not more, important than where we are going. His urging of us to “travel well” is to invite us to explore our options to “living well”.

Just as was covered in the last post, we should not be living our lives just to have it be a ‘means to an end’—the “arrival” point in our life. Why do we live our lives this way? We’re always in a hurry to get to the next thing. Never taking the time to stop and look around to see what might be wonderful right here in front of us, right now.  

We must travel well on this journey—our life—and when we live it as if it is not that stepping stone to the end result, we won’t care about the arrival.

The journey will have been enough.

 

 

 

Thank you for being here today.

 

Namaste,

 

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

 

 

 

 

 

Week 7

 

 

 

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment

                                                                                                                                     --Buddha

 

 

 

Very straight forward, this quote reminds me of what I learned when I first started reading about strengthening my Spiritual Being. I see now that the teachings of Eckhart Tolle and Wayne Dyer, as well as others with the same message, are very much influenced by Buddhist teachings. This is not to say that they encourage others to follow one certain path or another, but offer all that they've learned that they find beneficial to all humankind. That, I am finding out, is the essence of the Gautama Buddha's teachings, though I have so much more to learn.

In all of the books I've read, by multiple authors, the main tenet has been, "Live in the Now. It is no use looking to or living in the past. It is gone. Replaying past events in your head will only most likely torture you. You can't change what was done then.”  I understand this to mean that you can’t go on being reminded of all the regrets you’ve caused yourself in the past, whether it is huge life altering decisions or wishing a confrontation went a little bit differently.

Don’t we all do the replaying in our heads of how we would have liked a conversation to go—doing a sort of reverse rehearsal in our minds? “Oh, I wish I would have said this” or “I really should have done that.” I know I did. I would run myself ragged with regrets of things I wished I had done differently. Of course this does not mean to ignore all of your past mistakes and never learn from them. But constantly being ‘unconscious’ of the loop of tape playing a stream of events in your head that you can no longer change is maddening. If you really want to change something from your past, as long as it’s a positive change with the intent of a positive outcome, I don’t see anything wrong with that, as long as it does not become a type of obsession that redirects your attention from your present moment. Otherwise, for our own sanity, we must try to learn to let go of things that are nonconductive to our peace.

The second half of this quote is instructing us not to worry over the future, for it has not even happened yet. Preparing for your future is one thing, but projecting always into the future, especially to turn your everyday life or present situation into a "means to an end" just to pass the time to get to that point when something better comes along (which may never come, as expected, by the way) is a waste of your time and life that you should be focusing on.

 I have finally realized in the last few years that I have wasted so much time just “getting by”. It makes me sad that I missed out on so much before I learned to really stop and pay attention to what was right in front of me instead of just going through the motions. This might be a hard one to sell, especially with the state of the world’s economy and unemployment rates right now, but we are wasting ourselves if we just go through each day waiting for next week to come.

I remember that I used to do this like a pro. At one point, there were aspects of my life that I found so unsatisfying that I projected so much into the future just to escape what I was going through. I missed all that I could have had or been doing and learning that was right there in front of me. Had I known then what I know now, I would have been better able to cope with my situation and not had to escape by always daydreaming of the future.

Just as you really have no control over the past, you can’t always rely on your daydreams, either. I don’t mean to stop planning and dreaming of a better future. Being proactive in manifesting your dreams is a key to happiness, as long as you can stay unattached to what you manifest. Using daydreams of a future you are really never actually sure of is a form of escape that just keeps you from being responsible for your present moment.

Believe me when I tell you that I know life can be pretty unbearable at times. When I got tired of always avoiding my present situations and finally faced them, I was so relieved to have that chapter closed and to be able to move on with my life that it was worth whatever I had to go through to get there. And most of the time, I realized had I not avoided it for so long, I would have had an even easier time dealing with it or they weren’t at all as bad as they had seemed in my projections of it in my mind.  Eventually, with time, as I started to lose my fear and attachment, I was able to face each situation that came my way with confidence.

The third thing this quote talks about is that by concentrating on the present moment you remain in the Now. If you keep your awareness in the Now, as often as possible, with practice, it will become second nature and you will start to notice all that is here for you. Focusing on the present moment is keeping your sanity, for your mind will not be running rampant with past events or future desires.

What does it mean to “concentrate the mind in the present moment”? To be present in the Now is to be aware of what is going on around you without allowing your thinking to over run your mind. No one expects you to walk around with nothing in your mind or no thoughts in your head. But getting in the habit of bringing your awareness back to the present moment, whenever you remember to, is a start.

It took me a while to learn to stop the spinning thoughts that were constantly going on inside my head, but it is becoming second nature. Once I realize I am off in a world of thoughts, I can bring my focus to something else in my present moment and create a space for myself that does not include incessant thinking. I got to the point of being able to do this by practicing with things I had learned from a meditation lesson by Eckhart Tolle like paying attention when I washed my hands such as noticing the smell of the soap, the warmth of the water, or the feel of the bubbles.  

These short little moments for myself throughout the day helped me to learn to stay centered and focused, and that helped me with all the exhausting wandering thoughts.

I have come so far in the last 5 years, thanks to the teachers and lessons that I’ve come across. In most cases, they couldn’t have shown up at a better time. Because of the wisdom of those that came before us, I am finally able to pursue true peace. And it isn’t “out there”, in the future events that I might long for or back in the past.

It's right here. In this moment. Now.

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read today. Have a wonderful weekend.

 

 

Namaste,

 

Nanette

 

 

To learn more about my discoveries while on this spiritual journey, click the link below:

http://tinybuddha.com/author/nanette-stein/

 

If you are interested in Eckhart Tolle, you can search through a nicely packaged version of some of his lessons from his book A New Earth at http://www.oprah.com/oprahsbookclub/A-New-Earth-Exercises-for-Your-Awakening  Even if you are not a fan of this particular website, I still urge you to browse through the material provided as there are some valuable lessons found at this link pertaining to this post.

   

Sundays With Buddha

Week 6


A Jug Fills Drop By Drop

                                      --Buddha

When I was first thumbing through this journal and saw this quote, I thought it was so simple yet encompassed so much. This lesson can be focused upon for almost any aspect of your life. I take it to mean that each task you take part of in your life, it must be done one step at a time for, as “a jug fills drop by drop,” so our tasks in life will be completed.

I’m going to use this lesson as my motivator for getting back into shape. I feel I have fallen so far from what I used to be in this aspect. Health and wellness had been a big part of my life before my mother passed away. I had made the decision to better myself and I started right off the bat and it became such an easy daily habit for me to eat well and exercise. I had my routine down and enjoyed waking up every day.

Working the night shift is hard on the body, as well as the mind. I used to feel terrible almost every day. I didn’t get enough sleep, as sleeping during the daylight hours was not the best scenario. I was not eating enough or at the right times to keep myself healthy or energized. I eventually got tired of being tired and feeling ill all of the time. (I knew the way I was feeling was from lack of sleep and being up all night and from poor nutrition and lack of movement. I am not suggesting that you simply start an exercise regimen if you begin having symptoms that are new and unusual for you. Always check with your doctor first, as I did.)

I decided I was not going to go on feeling this way, let alone go on for all the years I planned on living on this earth feeling this way. I made the commitment to start eating better, to write everything I did eat down in a journal, to watch what I ate, to eat mindfully and to start exercising. And I did precisely that. It was easy, right from the start, even though it seemed a great feat. I just made the decision to be conscious of what I was doing. I even weighed and measured my food. It seemed like it would be such a great hassle, but in truth, it was not at all as inconvenient as it sounds. I focused on the fact that I was doing something for myself to better my quality of life and that, in turn, would make me a better person to be around.

I then started a healthy exercise regimen after seeing my doctor. Since I worked the night shift, I got into the habit of waking up and putting on my workout clothes right away. I would leave and pick up my son from school, come back to the house and get my water, a banana, my nook and my iPod and we would head to the gym. I had worked my way from only being able to endure 5 minutes on the elliptical or treadmill to running for over an hour straight. It became the love of my life. I loved to run. I was excited to wake up every day just because I was going to run. I had trained with my son in the early spring of 2011 and we ran our first 5k race in May of that year. I just kept it up after that.

I was just shy of my ultimate weight goal and was going to wake up Friday March 30^th 2012 to start my first day of my 2^nd six week training for my next 5k race in May, as I wanted to beat my time from the year before. Instead, I was awoke at noon to frantic attempts to reach me by several family members to tell me of my mother’s passing.

Life as I knew it came to an abrupt halt. Everything I was prepared for fell away, landing on its head. In the days and weeks that followed, I tried to keep up with everything. I was still trying to journal what I was eating, but it was becoming difficult, as was watching what I was eating.  I was keeping so busy with taking care of all that you must take care of after an unexpected death: my father’s well-being, his and my mom’s finances, moving dad closer (dads disabled and could not remain in the house they had shared or take full care of himself so many miles away), keeping up with dad's appointments, plus all of the funeral arrangements…you can only imagine.

Then, just three months later, my husband’s mother was taken from us, as well. It was like fighting against waves in the sea that are intent on keeping you from the shore.

The first 8 months or so, I only gained (and lost) the same 4 lbs. I was constantly in motion in those early months, with everything I was keeping myself busy with. I was doing a good job keeping my mind off of our unbearable losses. But, after I got most things in order, and was able to get my dad mostly settled into a routine, the holidays arrived (our first holidays without our mother's was a whole new chapter to deal with) and the weight started to creep on. It really does catch up with you when you are not being mindful of what you are doing. I had never changed my eating habits from when I was so busy. Now that I wasn’t as busy, and I was starting to have more time to think about my mom and to grieve more, food was turning into a comfort. This was exactly what I always feared and never wanted to happen. Even my husband and son gained weight because I had stopped cooking at home and we were relying on take-out to fit our schedules or our moods.

We kept telling ourselves and each other “we’ve got to get a hold on this. We’re active people! What are we doing?!” I know we’ve been through unimaginable difficulties, but it’s time we take back control of ourselves and our lives. We’ve been planning on being more active and eating healthier for months now, but can’t seem to put it into motion. It was so easy for me before, it truly was. But now, my motivation is sorely lacking. I’m trying to set goals to motivate myself. My birthday is towards the end of July, so I’d like to get as much of this re-gained weight off by then. My anniversary is at the end of October, so I would really love to be at goal by then, as well.

And that is what brings me back to the concept of this quote and the lesson it conveys to me.

“A jug fills drop by drop”

I must remember this to know that all things take time. It’s so funny how I can speak about these things so easily from my heart of hearts to help other people to realize that they are worthy and to be gentle with themselves and not to judge themselves or others, but it is so easy for me to forget when it comes to myself. But that's why I'm working through these lessons, to help remind myself to care for me, as well. 

So that’s what this lesson means to me. That everything takes some time to come into fruition. That patience really is a virtue, and you will save yourself from a lot of suffering and heartache when you come to realize this. You can accomplish your goals when you set your mind to it whether it is fitness and weight loss, becoming a better person, breaking a bad habit or building a new one, or getting back to life after a great loss. 

That’s why I feel blessed to have turned to this quote at this time. It is a reminder to me that everything happens in its time, with each step, just like a jug filling up with water. Drop by drop. 

Now it's just  up to you to turn the water on.

Namaste,

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

              

 

 

 

Week Five

A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering.                                                                                    

                                                                                                            --Buddha

 

I had such a moment of peace and validation when I turned to this passage. I have always felt this to be true. A few years ago, when I really started my journey along this new Spiritual Path, the realization of this became so strong I was almost frustrated with trying to lift the veil of illusion that I knew existed, just outside my reach. I finally had validation of what I had been feeling for so long. I often had many conversations with Noah on our evening walks discussing how I feel everything we see is but an illusion; so hard to describe, yet so frustrating to keep inside. I felt like I was talking "crazy" as if I could not ever talk like this in front of anyone else. Imagine my surprise when this quote revealed itself to me in such a synchronistic way. It really is so hard to explain all that I feel this one implies, but I will do my best to get my feelings across to you the best way that I can.

I really do feel that this quote has several levels of meaning or depth; different but same. I mentioned last Sunday that, when you begin to do a certain amount of work on yourself to learn how to release your attachment to material things (don't worry...I'm not talking about becoming an ascetic) you will probably start to realize that things should not and cannot make you happy. I do believe it is possible to pursue things and live with things that make you happy, and still remain unattached to them, so that if and when they "go away", you can let them go without fear or devastation at their loss. That is precisely what this quote says to me.

"A wise man," or one who studies himself and the meaning of the life he lives, comes to an understanding of these things by "recognizing that the world is but an illusion”, meaning that this world is not the ultimate in our happiness, it is but an illusion to happiness, as our true peace does not come from the material. Our happiness comes from inside us, not from without. All of these things which we strive for are false; temporary happiness. It is okay to work towards goals and dreams, for without gains and losses, we do not gain valuable lessons that we need for learning how to let go. With the help of these lessons, we learn to let go of things that we once had, but now are gone, without fear and pain. We realize, through the constant desiring of things with too strong of a passion, we cause ourselves great pain when those things cycle out of our lives.

If we can learn from this, surely we can become as the wise man who can recognize the world as illusion and "does not act as if it is real" by retaining our peace of mind even in the midst of loss, because we know that the things of the material world are not our source of happiness, and were never meant to be. In fact, always striving for something more can cause great pain when we do not achieve it, or we gain what we desire and lose it in some way. The constant worry of "losing" our things, from your coveted designer handbag to the house you've always dreamed about, can create a vibration in you that pulls to you more loss. This does not mean to be ashamed of hard work and the purchase of your "dream" home, but if you are trying to live from a place to impress someone, including yourself, you may not be living what you can afford; financially or Spiritually.

What peace do you get from your 'things' if they constantly have you in a state of worry and distress? When you get to know yourself, and what you can do to be happy, you'll be in harmony with a life that does not include comparing with others. It will not matter to you that you don't have what someone else has, because that part of the ego will have started to drop away. You are happy with your achievements because you no longer need more to validate you because you know that your possessions, or positions in life, do not define you. And if they do not define you, you are not destroyed if it all goes away. You can allow it to pass through your life because you know, as with the cycle of all things, more is on its way, and all is as it should be. You then are as the "wise man" and so you "escape the suffering".

I know this all sounds very good when talking about a handbag or some earrings, but I'm sure you're wondering about true, devastating loss, such as a home and all of your belongings after a disaster or your car after a financial crisis. Or even the death of a loved one. I've learned in my own studies that you don't have to be happy about your losses; loss does not usually denote joy. But being at peace with the way things are is necessary to escape the suffering you would otherwise feel by the excessive mourning of such losses. It sounds completely unattainable in certain circumstances, I know, but with time, patience and practice it can be achieved.

In this world that is "but an illusion", it is not only about possessions of value, but I believe our bodies, as well. Some may be holding on very tightly to their youth and appearance, worrying too much about how they are aging and not living the life laid out before them. What good is the youth you're chasing, if by the time you catch it, it's too late to use?

Then there is the loss of the body all together. This would be another interpretation of the "illusion". If this world that our bodies inhabit is an illusion, then can it be that our very bodies are also an illusion, as our Spiritual beings are our true selves? Just as we mustn't let our belongings define us, we also mustn't let our earthly bodies and human personalities define us, either. And, if our Divine beings are our true selves, then when our bodies die, is it just an end to that part of the illusion? We still mourn the loss of our loved ones, I know all too well the difficulty with that loss, but I try to keep in the forefront of my mind the idea that it is not the end of the being that inhabits the body, just the physical body, itself.

The more I practice this way of living, the more peace I have truly gained from letting go of the "illusion", and, though my journey has been in progress for the last 5 years, and I am by far not finished learning, I feel I am accomplishing a great end to my suffering.

This is why I write for you. I am so grateful for the events that triggered my Spiritual change and journey, and I am grateful for all the events that are my journey, that I give them to you in hopes that something in them might be the trigger for you to start searching, and finding your own answers, your own peace.

Thank you for allowing me to share with you today.
I wish you all the wonderfulness you deserve...

Namaste,

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

  



Week Four

Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.
                                                                                     
                                                                                                      --Buddha

I picked this quote because my son is graduating high school this Sunday and this is wisdom that I have tried to instill in him his entire life.

I resist the urge to look up a quote, such as this one, to read someone else’s interpretation. I think it defies the purpose of working through this journal. I believe you are to find your own meaning and adapt it to your own life, making it useful to you in this modern age. Most of these lessons seem pretty straight forward to me, while others are a bit more perplexing, so these are just my interpretations. Maybe they will trigger something in you that you can apply to your own life.

That being said, my interpretation of this quote is something I have taught my son, and have been working towards for myself, for many years. The Buddha’s lessons are all about Peace and Happiness. Through his enlightened wisdom he offers you examples of how to begin to reach these states. As you will see, he does not ask you to perform great feats of overpowering another, but the greatest feat of overpowering: that of yourself. Only with producing harmony within yourself can you become harmonious with another.

One of the ways to this harmonious state is to become happy with your state of being. How do you become happy with your state of being? I believe this quote tells you one major way to gain the happiness that you seek.

I have been searching for mine for some time. I know I have found it in writing, but it is scary to feel I must give everything else up to pursue it; I have a full time job. But, I realize, I am giving myself to it. These lessons are but a tool to self-discovery. As I have said before, nothing happens overnight. Everything takes work, but if it’s work towards something you love, it doesn’t feel like work at all. And I don’t feel I have to give up my steady job to pursue it, either. I have done a lot of trial and error ‘work’ to find what I feel is my true purpose, and now I am giving myself to it. That, in and of itself, may be a bit of trial and error. But I don’t mind, because I am passionate about it.

When you take the time to center upon yourself and really search for what makes you happy, that is “discovering your work.” Taking the time to center upon yourself and really search out what it is that you feel your “work” or ultimate purpose is, is that  “work” with which you should “…then with all your heart to give yourself to it”, meaning, once you’ve discovered what your work or purpose is, you give yourself to it, wholeheartedly.

So, how does this pertain to my son's graduation today?

 

I have always taught him to never get himself stuck in a career or job just to make money or survive. I’ve always told him to pursue what makes him happy, what he’s passionate about. He has the full understanding that, in this society, one needs an income. But it is not necessary to give yourself over to “the almighty dollar.”

He is fortunate enough to be just at the threshold of his life, to have the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. If doing what you love means making less money, you adapt your life to need less. If you don’t become attached to all the possessions that many believe give you status and happiness you don’t miss these things. If you do the type of work on yourself that gains you the understanding that happiness does not come from without, but within, then most likely the inherent release of attachment to things will follow.

This means that you can pursue things that make you happy and enjoy all the things you have, but stay unattached so that you can let them go if they all go away, and not be destroyed by their loss and absence, as the things aren’t what you should ever rely on for your happiness (but that’s a whole other quote to explore).

I don't think our generation always fully realizes how the world is changing for our youth that is heading out into the work force. There are many University graduates left with high student loans and no jobs in the corporate world. Most of these graduates were following a set of "rules" laid down by a society that they have grown out of, for wanting to do the "right thing". I am not saying that these kids are wrong in what they picked, as long as they are happy and truly passionate about their 'work'.  But I have been hearing a lot more lately of people leaving their jobs in pursuit of a more passion driven path. Sometimes out of necessity due to becoming unemployed, or because they just couldn't take the dread of going through the monotony any longer. If everyone was afforded this opportunity, can you imagine how much happier this world would be to live in? 

 While my son is going to college, he picked where as well as his major and minor.  He is a musician and has already produced several pieces of music, starting at just 16. He is interested in music production and education and I support him in that because it is his passion, his gift and is what makes him happy.

I had a conversation with someone at work who told me there was no money in music, production or otherwise. Not a musician himself, mind you, but someone who probably meant well enough. But if we always give in to other people's opinions and let naysayers sway our decisions, we may not have all of the wonderful discoveries and inventions we are now blessed with. 

 

I taught my son not to pay attention to what others may try to discourage him from. Never let someone else crush your dreams or tell you that you 'can't'. It's also not always all about the money. You can't put a price tag on your passion. If you make yourself happy, you will be in a state of being that will bring to you all that you need. Richness is being happy with you, and what you do. If your work ends up touching another in the process, all the better.

 

 These are lessons that I wish I had been taught earlier in my own life, to live passionately and not get stuck doing what is perceived as the 'right thing'. But I am working on the change I need to live from my own heart. Change is always available to you. There are no stone walls built around you. Your path is paved by the bricks that you lay. 

So, you may wonder if he thinks this career path will make him wealthy. He doesn’t ever talk about that, really, except for the richness of his life by following his passion. He knows the trade-off for living your passion is possibly the under abundance of money in the bank. He just wants to make music and teach others how to do the same. He wants to encourage other youth to follow their dreams and believe in themselves, too. That dreaming big and going for it is not unattainable, when you believe in yourself.

 

Boy, that's rich.

He’s done his work, he’s discovered his work and you better believe he’s given himself to it…wholeheartedly.

And I couldn’t be more proud.  

 

Thanks for being with me today.

Namaste,

Nanette

Mother's Day without mom

  

You never get too old for your mother’s death to crush you. All supposed wrongdoing and arguments go far away.

You never get too old to need your mother back, to wish anything else in exchange to have her to call, to talk to.

You never get too old to want to wrap up in your mothers robe and be comforted by it. To lay your head on her lap and feel her hand on your hair.

You never get too old to feel sad or lonely or scared and want the presence of your mother to make it all feel better again.

You especially feel the loss of these emotions if you had separated so far from them while she was still living. When they are ripped away from you so suddenly, that's when you might feel that loss the greatest.

I truly realized the meaning of, "you don't know what you've got until it's gone" in this past year. I didn't think this Mother's Day would be as hard as it was; much harder than last year. I suppose it's because I have 'settled' in to the realization of her death and have had time to let it sink in, unlike last year when I was still so overwhelmed and keeping my mind busy with all that there was to do to prepare for life without her.

All I could think about yesterday was what I could have been doing with her for Mother's Day. How much fun we could have had and all the different things she liked to do.

She was no ordinary lady. We could have done so much. I imagine how much fun it would have been to go to our usual haunt, St. Charles for quiche and iced tea and some shopping, but with our cameras this time. How much fun she would have had taking pictures together of the flowers and buildings and walking the Katy Trail along the river, then having a glass of wine on the veranda of one of the many wineries along Historic Main Street. Then, if we weren't too tired, we could have even taken in a movie.

 

While she was alive, I didn't know how I would feel if she were to live closer to us, but now I wish she had, at least in the last few years.

But I didn't know this was going to happen.

That's why it is important to try to set differences aside, now. Cherish what you have. Decide what's most important, being right or being love.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish I had done something different. Now is your chance, don't let it pass you by.

Make your life something to be proud of, not something to regret.

My best wishes to you,

Nanette

Sundays With Buddha

Week Three

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world."       

                                                                                                                      --Buddha



I strongly believe that thoughts are things. If we constantly think negative downtrodden thoughts, we will become negative, downtrodden people. I realize there is a lot to ‘worry’ about in this world now. We all have our troubles. There are things we just must have to survive even the tiniest bit in this society. So, short of packing up the family  and going off on a mission of solitude and poverty, we must have money and materials. And find some sort of way to make that money to attain those materials. With the lifestyles that we have grown accustomed to, comes responsibilities that we sometimes fear we can’t keep up with. When those troubled time arise, we put ourselves through torture with our maddening, incessant thoughts.

How will I pay this bill? How am I going to make the house payment AND the car payment? What about the leak in the roof? You can torture yourself into a frenzy with your thoughts. You can create illness or greatness, calm or chaos. It feels impossible to shut off the mad carousel of your thoughts, which ultimately become feelings, like a switch. But, I think this is necessary to regain our sanity. When your thoughts are out of control, how do you feel? When you are overwhelmed with whatever it is that is troubling you, how do you feel?

Trapped, weighed down, lost, scared, sad, depressed, confused, moody, hateful, maybe?

How do those feelings make you act?  Much of the same, right?

Now, imagine the pleasure of taking control of these thoughts. Knowing that they hold no power over you, but what you allow them to have. Thoughts are indeed things, and may feel like they have a mind of their own at times, but they don’t, not if you don’t let them. You have power over your thoughts, and what you allow into your space, not the other way around.

I, as much as anyone, know how difficult it is to maintain a positive outlook when things seem to be traveling in the opposite direction that you believe they should. You may not always want to think positive when you're feeling low, but it really does help.

Maybe you could go and do something to take your mind off what's troubling you and clear your mind. Take a walk and get some fresh air to get away from it so you can focus on something else and calm the dreary thoughts in your head.

When you create for yourself  space in your mind it gives you room to work things out. Then maybe you'll feel like switching from negative thoughts to a more positive thought process.

So, if you can distance yourself from this thinking and take that walk to put things into perspective a little better, you come back more prepared to organize those overwhelming tasks into attainable goals.

Gaining control makes you feel a whole lot better, right? When you accomplish each goal successfully you may think, "I can do this. I am strong enough."

What happens when you think this way?

You become this way.

It seems unattainable, like waking up one day and deciding to become someone else. But why is that so far-fetched?  Deciding doesn’t have to mean you must change everything right at that moment. Deciding is the first step. There are many more to conquer after that. Patience is the key. There is no right or wrong way to move ahead in your change. You simply decide on what you want to change and you set forth a plan in motion. Our downfall comes from trying to be perfect all the time so as not to “disappoint” anyone, including ourselves. We often judge ourselves more harshly than anyone else ever would. That constant judgment also spoils the mind.

Nothing happens overnight, short of Divine Miracles (which have been known to happen from time to time, just so you know), but with habit forming encouragement, this can surely become a practiced way of life and you will begin to realize that what is happening for you is a miracle in itself.

If everyone took the time to cherish themselves in this way, and changed their thinking, we would love ourselves more, paving the way to loving each other more.

Wow...what a world we would live in.

 Here’s a breakdown of the quote into sections and a little of what I think each verse means.

We are what we think.

The power of thought is not to be underestimated. Whatever we think, we tend to believe as truth. What we believe as truth, we live out in our everyday existence as truth. By living this ‘truth’ everyday, we become what we believe to be true.

All that we are arises from our thoughts.

Whatever ‘truth’ has grown from our thoughts, we form as our reality; who and what we are, what we think, and our deepest and dearest beliefs. All of this bloomed from one tiny seed, one little kernel of thought. We nurtured it with more thought. And it grew. And we fed it more, thinking it into fruition. We grew a life with as many abundant branches as a tree, just by our thoughts.

With our thoughts, we make the world.

If we can nurture and grow this great tree of life for ourselves with our thoughts, and each of us does so, we end up with a forest.

I have read and seen examples of how thought can affect the world, both negatively and positively. The first flying machine was imagined into reality with a thought. Scores of music were written by first imagining the sound. Wars were waged, lost and won by dwelling upon the thoughts of tactics.  Cities were built, stories were written and technologies invented…all starting with a single thought.

Why, then, is it so hard to imagine the world becoming a better place to live if we are able to harness our thoughts? We can think ourselves back off the ledge of overactive thinking just as well as we got ourselves there to begin with. You can reverse the negative cycle of the thinking process easier than you think.

Think.

That word again, like an entity unto itself, wreaking havoc or creating beauty, all beginning within your mind. It’s your choice. They are your thoughts. We are each our own creator. We are reflections of divine love.

When you are standing at the waters edge of your mind, what will reflect out of you?

Sundays With Buddha

   Week Two


“By your own folly you will be brought as low as your worst enemy wishes.”

                                                                                                                                            --Buddha

Because of your own lack of foresight or poorly thought-out actions, you will stoop to your enemy’s level--just as they wish.

In a case such as the recent bombing at the Boston Marathon (and the Sandyhook Elementary School shooting and the Aurora Movie Theater shooting) it is understandable to be filled with confusion, anger and even hatred. Prejudice arises for those that are associated with these acts of violence, further separating "us" from "them".

What I believe this quote warns of in a situation such as this is the danger of the inability to let go of the anger in the aftermath.

There is a lot to be said for the heroics and undeniable bravery displayed by those that unselfishly put themselves in harm’s way for the sake of another. It is lifesaving in more than the obvious way. These acts of selfless bravery and caring that we are fortunate enough to witness during even the darkest of times are lifesaving for our Spirit, as well. It is important that we keep these acts in the forefront of our minds and let the good in these situations overcome the bad.

I don’t think it’s wrong to feel human emotion, but harmful to dwell upon the negative that others spread; for when you do, you are "by your own folly" allowing yourself to be "brought as low as your worst enemy wishes".

One who causes pain and suffering should not be feared. Building your life around that fear and letting a change occur in you based on the evil men do is exactly what they want; to control you with your own fear and hatred. This is the very purpose of "acts of terror."

Misery loves company. There are people out there who are unhappy and want you to be just as unhappy with them. It validates their feelings; makes those feelings ‘acceptable’ so they will do anything to “bring you to their level”. This, of course, can be avoided in both major and minor instances. In minor instances, such as being around people that just want to make you unhappy like them or feed off of your sympathy for their own perceived misery, you can remedy that situation fairly easily. Removing yourself from the situation or changing the conversation to something more positive is sometimes all it takes.

In a more major instance, such as the tragedies mentioned earlier, it takes a little more work within yourself to get to the point where you can actually let go of the fear and hatred you may harbor towards another. While these feelings are understandable, having them make a home in you, coiled and ready to strike, will eventually make you become your feelings, as you will be thinking on them often, and what we think we become.

By succumbing to your distaste for another, you are ultimately hurting yourself. When you dwell upon unpleasant feelings of dislike, distaste, annoyance, detest, and even hatred you start a seed of contention inside that you eventually might not even realize is there. It just slowly grows there, feeding off of your negativity like a parasite, becoming a part of you that you accept as truth. This “brings you as low as your ‘worst enemy’ wishes”. Forgetting the compassion that is inherent in your being is your “folly”, for “nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.”(Buddha)

We, more often than not, do more harm to ourselves than anyone else ever could. By letting our negative emotions run rampant we are causing ourselves harm worse than our enemies, by far.

What I think we are to take away from this wisdom of the Buddha is that, unchecked, our imaginations can run away with us, in the worst way. With practice and gentle reminders to ourselves, without judgment or scolding, we can eventually overcome the cycle of unconscious thinking that we have become so accustomed to. In doing so, it makes seeing the positive in any given situation clearer.

I am not saying to forget the sadness and remorse that comes with terrible acts. None of these things should be forgotten. On the contrary, they must be remembered, talked about and learned from. But it is just as important to celebrate the good that may have come from an act of violence as it is to remember the fallen from that act. I think it changes us as beings to remember our “being-ness”. How uplifting to know we can overcome such tragedies and rely on each other to hold out our hand to raise someone else up so they can do the same for the next?

How beautiful that we can look back, even with heartache, and realize how we have overcome such obstacles in this world and how this world seems to be changing for the better because of our actions, even as these things continue to occur. With our continued commitment to being proactive in this way and shining light onto the darkness we will surely get to the point where we are the darkness of this world's demise instead of it being ours.

Thank you for spending time with me today... 

Namaste,

Nanette