Sundays With Buddha

 (photo courtesy of OurAscension.com, http://www.thebuddhism.net, https://www.facebook.com/BuddhistPeople)

Week 13

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

                                                                                                                           --Buddha

 

This so clearly speaks for itself to me. We have all heard that to hold on to anger, a grudge, or non-forgiveness is only hurting you. While I do believe that these things will, no doubt, hurt the person to whom they are intended, the greatest suffering is to oneself.

The Buddha is correct, of course, in this week’s quote. Holding on to anger and bitterness is exactly like grasping a hot coal. We want to fling it, our anger, at our intended targets, and often do so without thinking, but we never really rid ourselves of it. We are emotionally still clutching it close to our own hearts.

Our inability to ‘let go’ causes us more pain in the long run than we often cause those we aim it at. When we hold on to our anger or feelings of being wronged, we do not move on like those we are angry about; burning ourselves. Learning to see what is most important to us in our lives is so essential to our well-being so that we can hold on to what is precious, and let go of what is hurting us.

I know of this firsthand. I have become very open about myself in my writing, and I have mentioned, more than a few times, that I used to be a very begrudging and bitter person. It took me awhile to finally break down my own walls and stop being so angry. What I remember of all the anger I kept bottled up inside is the heavy feeling of dis-ease. But was I angrier at the supposed cause of my anger, or was I really just uncomfortable and angry at myself for feeling so out of control?

As I have grown during this quest for higher spirituality, I came to realize that my discontentedness was more so towards myself, even though I tried to blame it on everyone else. I was so uncomfortable with myself and the emotions I was feeling that I literally made myself sick. Now I have learned to be with the emotions. Feel the anger, accept it, and let it go; let it pass through you like clouds pass in the sky.

It is so important to be gentle; don't be so hard on yourself. Would you say or do things to strangers or your children that you say and do to yourself? I should hope not. I try to keep that thought in mind to keep my behavior in check towards myself, as well as others. Eventually, it becomes much easier to let the anger pass. After all, it is your reaction to what is done to you that causes your pain more so than the thing, itself. When we learn this we can more easily control our reactions to events and begin the process of releasing our anger.

I still get "bent out of shape" sometimes, more often than I like, but I realize I am a human 'work-in-progress', and I am worth the effort. Part of releasing anger and judgment is releasing it in regards to yourself, as well.

Thank you for reading today. I wish you all luck on your own journeys of self-discovery, and I wish you all the wonderfulness you deserve.

Namaste

Nanette